Blurp Charlie Mask

Isn’t there an old urban legend that says if you sneeze with your eyes open, your eyeballs will fly out of their sockets? It can’t possibly be true, because heads don’t work like Nerf guns… but we’ve still been too chicken to try it out for ourselves. What if it turned out to be true, though? What other horrors have we been blissfully ignorant of as we skip haphazardly though life??

That’s probably what people will wonder when they see you wearing this extra-creepy Blurp Charlie Mask. We’re not quite sure if Charlie is the name of the skeleton demon, or of the poor sap who’s face it’s busting out of, but we definitely don’t know what a “blurp” is. Is it a really intense burp that only happens when you drink pop rocks and soda during a full moon after saying an evil incantation, and results in you “blurping” up a skull-demon? Or, is it the sound you make when you sneeze really hard with your mouth open, and you yak up your own bones? You decide, and we’ll just take your word for it.